Om Laghu Bhavam
(I am lightness itself.)
Anyone can give up,
it is the easiest thing in the world to do.
But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart,
that is true strength.
I've never done things the “normal” way. Yes, I graduated from high school and went on to college, but then I didn’t go the normal college route, not right away anyway.
After I had my degree in hand, 5 colleges and 4 cities-and-townships later, I moved to the little town of Jefferson, settled down with my husband and daughter, and got my first professional career. My first job out of college, to work at a non-profit in Madison, you’ll never guess which one. After two-years of that, I left that job for a “good” one. It was a state job, with benefits and decent pay, and eventually, built my way out from there to the university, making my way up the latter within government agencies for 10 years, then, eventually I got the courage to leave that job and the courage to change course with my career and start my own business, which felt like a good direction for me. I went out on my own, creating my own LLC as a consultant. And then, again, I floundered a bit, as all new business owners do. Although I enjoyed what I was doing, I wasn’t really making my business work, I had a good two-year contract, then I couldn’t find contracts for several months, they call it sitting on the bench. Then, I’d find another contract for 6-months and it went like that for the years I had my company.
I spent a few years there, fifteen to be exact, traveling state-to-state, on contract, flying out Sundays, sleeping in different hotels, eating unique foods at restaurants and flying back late Thursday evenings. Eventually, I got smart and would walk to the grocery store the day I arrived for the week, and bought the majority of my lunches to stay healthy.
Don’t get me wrong, the people I worked with took advantage of the evenings and traveled with me. We drove to National parks and saw Niagara Falls in New York, toured wine country in California and walked the boardwalk in Virginia, to name a few. It was probably some of the most interesting places I’ve traveled.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, but this wasn’t it, yet I felt I had no choice. I often felt directionless and downright miserable. I went with the flow.
I took a break from consulting, mid-way through. Stopped taking contracts. Instead, I wrote a book, then another, soon, I had 5 children’s books published. I created a marketing campaign, nothing formal, just winged it. Headed to Sundance with Staci, the Oscars, National Library association conference, New York Book Exchange, and Orange County Book fair. I went to local schools and libraries and read to kids, made an animated short film, and even a documentary of women, called Advice from Extraordinary Women. Eventually, on stage presenting in South Africa to the Women's Advancement Forum, and became the Ambassador for Women Advancement. All of these things lead to new friends, opened doors and gave me new insight.
I went back to consulting, since I needed money. I took short contracts, to get me through. Soon, I started drawing again. I took an advance drawing class at UW Madison, and that stirred new approaches and I got out my paintbrushes again.
Eventually, my time as a Consultant was through, I headed back to work for an international company full time. I work a variety of projects in the banking industry, finding that I actually enjoyed settling into my role, and working with different groups, even though it was and is chaotic and siloed, only flying out meet with executives a few times a year.
I enjoyed the job, the money is great, and after some time I was settling in. During this time I started talking to an executive mentor within the company, who I hoped would give me some guidance and hope, and within a few months.
Finally after a few more years and a series of events that included serious health events in my family, even though I still had a full time job, I started diving into my art again, with a more serious attitude and actually started showing my art out in public. I started doing all of the things I was passionate about, writing, art, and working out. This time with greater clarity about what I wanted to do, why, and how could I do it.
It didn't happen overnight, but with time and hard work, everything around me started to grow. I spend my days doing work I love and hanging out with my daughter and husband. It feels great, it feels right, and it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Awareness
We don’t have to struggle to shed our burdens,
all we need to do is expand our awareness.
Looking back over my experiences I realize there is one word I’ve carefully left out when describing my journey, and it’s one that showed up whenever I felt held back or trapped.
That word is “should.”
Sometimes “should” showed up alone, other times it was accompanied by its close personal friend, “not.” Either way, whenever should was around, my life suffered.
- “I should get a full time job with benefits after college, that’s the right thing to do.”
- “I should not move to a new state without having a job lined up.”
- “I should try to please other people first.”
- “I should not pursue a career that is so out there. What will other people think?”
My friend gave me very good advice one day (several years ago), when sitting in her living room chatting over coffee. She said, whenever you hear yourself say “should” that is a warning sign. Stop and take “should” out of your sentence. Because should gets you in trouble.
I quickly realize, that when I ignore the “should” things become lighter. I actually don’t have to believe every single “should” because it drives you further from doing what makes your heart sing. A lot of times the “should” is trying to satisfy someone else, I try to break free from the game of the “should”.
Next time you hear yourself saying you “should” do something, try saying, “I hear you, but I don’t believe you, so I’m going to think about something else now.”
There are days, I still struggle with telling myself I should or shouldn’t do certain things, but I’ve made great progress. I really believe that everyone will feel more content, confident, and in touch with their true selves if they can learn to do things because they want to, not because they should.
The Labyrinth of Life
Show Up
You are exactly
Where you are meant to be.
Today, if you’re confronting an issue for the ten thousandth time, or feeling that your life is going nowhere, or panicking over how little you’ve achieved, stop and breathe. You’re not falling behind on some linear race through time. You’re walking the labyrinth of life. Yes, you’re meant to move forward, but almost never in a straight line.
Yes, there’s an element of achievement, of beginning and ending, but those are minor compared to the element of being here now. In the moments you stop trying to conquer the labyrinth of life and simply inhabit it, you’ll realize it was designed to hold you safe as you explore what feels dangerous.
You’ll see that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, meandering along a crooked path that is meant to lead you not onward, but inward.
Artist Statement (In Progress)
“If you are always trying to be normal,
you will never know how amazing you can be.”
~Maya Angelou
Working on new ‘combined’ artist statement: (this is a start, but still reworking it). What do you think?
Kim Groshek is an artist and writer who believes in better living through a simple smile, spirited colors and kind words. She creates uplifting and symbolic story art; and when she doesn’t have a paintbrush in her hand, she can be found riding her bike, running, swimming, practicing yoga, reading, with her daughter and/or husband, or walking outside on the nature trails.
Thank you for your support and friendship!
Warmly, Me
❤️🚴🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️☕
Training for Ironman Mont-Tremblant!
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