There is a small, disheveled baby robin making her very first steps in my garden today. She looks a bit dazed and exhausted, her lovely yellow down all awry. I know exactly what she feels like. She looks like a lot of people I know right now. At almost every age, everyone seems to be on the cusp of a similar transition: taking their first steps into an uncertain and illegible new world. As I write this, a flock of birds flies overhead heading south to prepare for the winter. Like us, the birds are transitioning and so are my parents who are preparing to head south once again, to stay warm for the winter months. We are not finished with transitions.
At just shy of 55, okay 55 now that my birthday month is almost done, I feel poised between these two ends of the spectrum, the baby bird and the parie-ntals (as my daughter calls us). From this middle spot, I can observe my family hanging, in a seemingly collective cliff ritual, on the edge of change. We are all transitioning — simultaneously and quite unexpectedly — into our next chapters. My daughter is fiercely independent in the midst of her career doing quite well with her new puppy. My husband is adapting to something he resists calling retirement. My mother-in-law has just been transitioned into her new home, in an apartment in assisted living. My dad has just come out of recovering from a major surgery and doing fine now, fitted with his hearing aids and is suddenly complaining about the noise of he’s starting to hear. Not to mention my trio of good friends, one who lost a job, one who just started a new job, another who moved from Hawaii to South Carolina, and one who split from her partner.
Every one of this cross-generational group of family and friends is struggling to let go of what was (identity, community, connecting in a different way and competencies) to embrace what’s next (as yet unknown, undefined, and ambiguous). There is a mixture of fear (Who am I?) and excitement (I am SO ready for a change), confusion (What do I want?) and certainty (Time to move on).
There comes a time in jobs, life phases, or relationships where you know the chapter has come to its end. Knowing when it is time to end the chapter — and ending well to start anew — will become an increasingly valuable skill as lives lengthen and transitions become multiple across both personal and professional lives.